if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
