At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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