If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
