turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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