i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
