let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
