The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Oh god it's open bar.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
