Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
