I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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