I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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