I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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