Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
