yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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