I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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