i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
