margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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