you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
