hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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