i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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