it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
