I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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