At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
