i think my tv is drunk
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
