It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
