I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
