and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
