We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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