never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
