does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
