i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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