The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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