I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
