Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
