summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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