btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
