I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
