Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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