Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize