Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
