I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
