OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We are two peas in an std pod
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
