this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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