Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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