Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Randomize
