You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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