Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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