I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize