I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
