I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
