i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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