Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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