hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We need a shit load of segways right now
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize