he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize