You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
