Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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