dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
where am i from again
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
