So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Randomize
