you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
