Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
