Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
