Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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