Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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