No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
