His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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