We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Naked. naked and bneed help.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize