I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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