she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
