i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I wish there were birth control emojis
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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