erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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