1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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