He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
