Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
