writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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