i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
