I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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