i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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